116157

Joke of the Day

"I can never tell if my cat left a dead bird at my door, or if it's the dead bird I ordered from Amazon."

"Why did the Soviets decide to be Russian? Cuz they got tired of Stalin."

"Have you ever meet someone so Jewish... That they didn't want to pay for their train ticket?"

"I've got two right here for ya Who are the easiest kids to pick on? Orphans. Who are they going to tell, their parents? Jews should feel lucky. They got their grandparents cremated for free!"

"Two prostitutes were walking down the street when one said to the other ""Girl, we're gonna be making some money tonight. I can smell dick in the air."" The other says ""Bitch please. I just burped."""

"Girlfriend caught you looking at another woman? Turn to your girl and tell her that you're glad she doesn't dress like that."

"*shoots self in foot* ""Damn i like the metaphor better"""

"I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am."

"In high school they called me donkey dick. I got that name because... it was short for Donald Keith Richards."

"Trump's foreign policy answers sound like a book report from a teenager who hasn't read the book. ""Oh, the grapes! They had so much wrath!"""