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Joke of the Day

"Two redditors walk into a bar, you won't believe what happens next! Seriously. I knew you'd click it."

"I got a girl's number today! All I had to do was hit her car."

"*googles murder tips *adds ""asking for a friend"" at the end of each search They won't be able to prove a thing! *evil cackles"

"On the news tonight they said a skull-fucker was on the loose... everyone should keep an eye out for him."

"What is the holdup on square fruit, scientists?"

"Is a man more intelligent before, during or after sex? During. Because you're plugged into the know it all"

"Tonight's special: Hummus-fed pigeon leg, rolled in coffee grinds, served on a bed of fresh lawn clippings $105 - Fancy restaurants"

"If you are willing to jump off a bridge, because your wife cheated on you... ...just remember it is a pair of horns, and not a pair of wings."

"So let me get this straight, a 747 can carry a space shuttle on its ""back"", and yet airlines charge for overweight baggage?"

"What do you have to know to be a real estate salesman? Lots."