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Joke of the Day

"My daughter's boyfriend left his wallet here. I put girls names & numbers in it. Later today I'll ask my daughter if he has change for a $20"

"The more Twitter tells me it's over Capacity, the more I suspect Twitter still loves Capacity and regularly sits outside her house, weeping."

"My 4-year-old sang in church for the first time. So what if it was the wrong song? There's never a bad time for ""We Will Rock You."""

"The Swedish word gratrunka means crying while masturbating. It's a real tear jerker"

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead."

"Have you ever been to an Amish party? Those guys really raise the roof!"

"What did Jack Frost say at his climax? ""Winter is coming"""

"My dog said ""woof"" so I said ""woof"" & now I'm afraid of what I may have agreed to."

"Who invented King Arthur's Round Table? Sir Cumference!"

"What is a male pirates biggest fear? A sunken chest with no booty."