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Joke of the Day

"Q: What's the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? A: One sells watches and the other watches cells."

"To make it safer to use the mobile phone when I'm driving, I've deleted all my German male contacts. I now completely Hans free."

"What do you call a Chinese underage hooker? Sum Yung Ho"

"LPT: If your dentist has no painkillers, ask him for Helium. It will be hilarious when you scream."

"I posed naked for a magazine today Although from the reaction I got, I think the newsstand owner would have preferred money :)"

"Let's all smash our hands together repeatedly to indicate that we enjoyed that thing."

"Glue Sticks... I was walking through an arts and crafts shop when I saw a sign saying, ""Glue Sticks.""I thought, ""No shit."""

"[leaving HS reunion w/ date] Aren't you going to ask why everybody was calling me 'smelly boy' tonight? ""Seemed pretty clear I thought"""

"""How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?"" 384 my liege ""Ok, round them up"" 400 my liege"

"What do you call mustard that's not very hot? Air condijoned. I'll see myself out."