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Joke of the Day

"Time traveller: I'm from the future Me: prove it *he pulls out next weeks newspaper* Me: nice try, they've already invented newspapers"

"Did you hear the joke about the guy who shined a light at his shadow? It starts off dark, but the ending is bright."

"joe: siri address me as poopyhead siri: okay poopyhead *obama enters* barack: joe have you seen my phone? joe: yep here *runs away giggling*"

"A router goes into a doctor's office and says, ""It hurts when IP."""

"A plateau is the highest form of flattery I'm sorry"

"Where do the elements go to church? At the Atomic Mass!!"

"Islam is a religion of piece....There is a piece there, and another piece n the ground there Not an original joke just found it."

"ME: I've brought you a house-warming present ESKIMO: You idiot"

"[mom unloads groceries] if there's one thing i love, besides my wild little rascals, it's subscribing to twenty different online tv services"

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? The pickpocket snatches watches..."