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Joke of the Day
"Shia LaBeouf is what happens when you name your child from a random rack of Scrabble tiles."
Next Joke
"Who would win in a race? The Tortoise or the Reddit Servers?"
"Can I ask you a quick question? What is the quickest way to the front page?"
"how to be healthy 1. always eat breakfast 2. have a light lunch 3. enjoy a sensible dinner 4. FREAK OUT @ 11pm & EAT EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE"
"Some people say that The Big Bang Theory disproves God... I mean, sure, it's not the best show, but I wouldn't go *that* far."
"Why was delta afraid of zeta? Because zeta eta theta and is only epsilon away from delta."
"When Michael Jackson's son was born, he asked the doctor, ""How soon can we have sex?"" The doctor replied, ""At least wait till he's 13."""
"Your inspirational tweets were so inspiring they inspired me to unfollow you."
"Pascal: Come on, we must go! Me: Man, you are really making a lot of pressure for 1 Pascal."
"""Bigotry"" -an Italian guy describing an oak"