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Joke of the Day

"Who him? Oh that's just jimmy, I pay him to follow me around and inter- *saxophone solo* INTERRUPT MY SENTENCES WITH SAXOPHONE SOLOS."

"Like a hooker at a truck stop, Twitter goes down every Friday."

"Why are all Atheists poor? Because Atheism is a not for-prophet organization."

"Mum are the Smiths very poor people? I don't think so Jimmy. Why do you ask? Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin"

"What's the lightest thing in the world? The penis, Because we can lift it with a thought."

"The only thing sexier than a girl wearing glasses is a girl wearing only glasses."

"""My anger began to flow through me like hot mountain sweat.."" Um, don't you mean ""Lava""? ""...like warm hill pee"""

"Where can Sihks and Muslims buy headwear? Turban Outfitters."

"Want to hear a racist joke? Civil Rights Act of 1964."

"What do you get when you go scuba diving with your iPhone 6 The bends."