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Joke of the Day

"Eating too much cake is the deadly sin of gluttony But not eating too much pie, because the sin of pi is always zero."

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"Ever just read somebody's post and think.... what th H is this person talking about? they never seem to make any sense."
"""It's the little things in life that make you laugh,"" my mom used to say. I never understood it until I saw two midgets fighting at Walmart."
"What do you call a green polo shirt? Collared greens"
"Why should optometrists never tell jokes? Because they're too cornea."
"A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: 'I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down.' The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: 'Because he's far too heavy.'"
"*shuts down road going both ways* Right over here, officer. Here is where the accident happened. *pulls tiny sheet over squirrel*"
"Shattner didn't go to Nimoy's funeral, and Obama's been on the phone all weekend with the Vulcan ambassador, trying to smooth things over."
"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere"
"I'm into cryogenics. All the cool kids are doing it."
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