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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the Mexican magician? He told his audience that he'd disappear on the count of 3. He counted ""Uno! Dos!""... And disappeared without a tres."

Next Joke
 
"My dad wears loosey-whities."
"The reason I don't like Facebook's ""memories"" feature is because it shows me 6 years ago wearing the same shirt I have on right now."
"Channing Tatum's next movie... Magic Mike - Big & Tall"
"What is Dracula's girlfriend called when she gives him head? Down for the count!"
"Know what ""buffet"" stands for? Big Ugly Fat Fuckers Eating Together. Credit: This loud big ugly fat fucker drinking a few tables away from me at this bar."
"Just spent 15 minutes explaining football to my 5-year-old daughter. Now I think I'll go explain health care reform to the cat."
"I give up drinking for good. ... ... ... Now, I drink for evil."
"Don't you hate when you're at the mall and there's a kid that just won't shut up. You're like, ""SHHH!"" And he's all, ""STRANGER! DANGER!"
"My friend told me that she wanted to give me a deep throat blow job today. ""Really!?"" I asked. ""No,"" she replied, ""April Fogarbnsrgabsjg...."" That'll teach her to try to be funny..."