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Joke of the Day

"Fiddy bucks Jewish girl walks up to her Jewish dad and says, ""Can I borrow fifty dollars?"" He responds, ""Fourty dollars? What do you need twenty dollars for?"""

"I can swallow two pieces of string and make them come out an hour later tied together I SHIT YOU KNOT"

"*Takes gift wrapping paper to the counter* Her: Did you want to buy that? Me: No, I just wanted to hold it for a while."

"Q: How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven; one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was."

"Broke a mirror today Seven years bad luck, my lawyer says he will get it down to five"

"Explaining a fountain to a 3rd world country must be weird. 'Yeah we just shoot clean water into the air and throw our extra money into it'."

"What does a physics cow say? "

"I'm NOT ashamed of my body. I worked hard for athletic build, healthy brown hair, 4 gorgeous legs, strong neck, big wet nose, clip clop feet"

"What's the most confusing day in Harlem? Fathers Day!"

"""I stand corrected"" said the man in the orthopedic shoes."