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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the wooden horse? Wooden poop."

"Recently, a Catholic hair stylist made news traveling around slandering the pope and Catholicism, angering many members of the faith. The pope denounced him... calling him a ""hair-a-tick"""

"They should name American Pharoah's first offspring ""Regression to the Mean"" Because, you know, statistics."

"Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip. To get to the same side."

"The pen is mightier than the sword. Unless you have like three followers then go with the sword"

"Babe, does this mole look suspicious to you? *Points at mole wearing sunglasses and a raincoat*"

"My girlfriend starting putting a miniature Sylvester Stallone doll in the middle of the bed a few months ago Things have been a little rocky between us ever since"

"Just when I thought life couldn't get any harder... I accidentally take Viagra for my migraine."

"I have a gun by my bed. So in the event of an intruder, I can shoot myself to avoid having to interact with a human being."

"what's that word for when you're peeling off a sticker & it comes off in 1 perfect strip & it's better than love or joy or any human emotion"