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Joke of the Day
"I am proud to say that I have completed the 1st item on my bucket list... I got the bucket"
Next Joke
"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but they stay for the intelligent discourse about Benghazi"
"""Would you like to partake in resistance training?"" ""No."" ""That's what I like to hear."""
"Did you hear about the farmer who fed crayons to his chickens? He wanted them to lay coloured eggs!"
"Ever since the wife and I bought a water bed, we've drifted apart."
"how many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? None; they're content to wander around in the dark pretending everything's okay."
"*hands note Boss: *reading* 'Please excuse my son from' Ridiculous! You're working! *thinking* I practiced my Mom's signature for nothing"
"What happened to the Mexican after he took heroin for the third time? He over*dos*'d ^^^^I'll ^^^^see ^^^^myself ^^^^out"
"Looks like my wife snuck a love note into my pocket which is pretty cute, although I don't know what ""DNR"" means."
"What's the difference between beer nut and deer nuts? Beer nuts will cost you about $1.25. Deer nuts are under a buck."