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Joke of the Day

"I am proud to say that I have completed the 1st item on my bucket list... I got the bucket"

"Why can't you ever see a hippopotamus hiding in a tree? Because they are really good at it"

"Kids, I can't tell you how much I enjoy sweating for an hr in the kitchen each day, just to see your little ""what the fuck is this"" faces"

"You look so young... what is your secret? I am fifteen."

"Don't ever go camping. That shit's intense."

"Fun fact about Earth: It is an insane hellworld where a species of ape has harnessed the power of liquefied dead things to destroy itself."

"What do you call a crazy professor? an academia nut"

"What has long ears four legs and is worn on your head? An Easter bunnet!"

"What's the difference between rape and extortion? How you spell blackmail"

"What is Bill Cosby's arch-nemesis? Smelling salts."