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Joke of the Day

"In the beginning, people laughed at my penguin army. No one's laughing now. I'm receiving treatment and everyone's been really supportive."

"Mary Rose sat on a pin Mary rose"

"My Mother texted me and asked ""What does TTYL mean?""... I replied, ""Talk to you later"". So she responded, ""No! Talk to me now! What does it mean?"""

"You said that if I went to visit at the hospital I should be sure to take flowers. So, when the nurse wasn't looking, I did."

"What is the temperature inside a tauntaun? Luke warm!"

"I accidentally left the ""Shake to Shuffle"" feature of my iPod turned on during my run and listened to 2,379 songs in 4 miles."

"I got rid of 300 unnecessary lbs after 6 months. The divorce papers are finalized today."

"I can feel you getting distant from me; my only wish for you is that your destination is oncoming traffic."

"The professor gave me a C on my Latin exam... Aced it!"

"How did Harry Potter Get Down the Hill? Walking. JK. Rolling."