115458
Joke of the Day
"It's a joke. What type of bagel can fly? A plain bagel."
Next Joke
"The Spicy Sausage by Delia Katessen"
"Where does a salmon go to deposit a check? To the river bank!"
"What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They're married."
"*gets handed a Mario Kart controller at a party* I don't know guys, I've never done this before. *straps on monogrammed driving gloves*"
"Wife. I'm going to bed. Me. Nooo! Don't leave me alone with the fridge."
"Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is like calling me a doctor, because I own Band-aids."
"Anyone remember this from the Austin Powers commercial? ""If you see one movie this summer... see Starwars... but if you see two movies see Austin Powers...."""
"""I saved this for thirty years so I could give it to you and you could throw it out."" - Moms"
"*swipes left* *swipes left* *swipes left* *swipes left* *swipes left* *swipes left* Wife: STOP TOUCHING MY FOREHEAD!"