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Joke of the Day
"I broke up with my girlfriend today Now I need to buy that movie again!"
Next Joke
"'Don't say foreskin instead of four score don't say foreskin instead of four score you GOT this Abe' *AHEM* ""FORESKIN FUCK LEMME START OVER"""
"What's better than being up to your knees in beer? Being up to your nuts in cider."
"What do you call someone who tells you they've successfully broken the Law of Excluded Middle? **WRONG.** ^... ^or ^^right, ^^^or ^^^^something ^^^^^in ^^^^^^between."
"I just met the most interesting man at the laundromat And then I realized that he can't even afford A washer or a dryer"
"Nothing's labeled clearly, I was promised tea & never got any, the criminal justice system is barbaric. ~ Alice's Yelp review of Wonderland"
"Me: ""Could you show me where the self-help books are?"" Librarian: ""No."""
"What does a vagina and the mob have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit."
"Q: What does a Super Star Destroyer wear to a formal occasion? A: A bow T.I.E."
"What do you get when you enter a cow into the Kentucky Derby? Milk and Bookies."