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Joke of the Day

"I had an art teacher in school who didn't believe in deodorant boy was he an aroma to be around"

"Dentist: How often do you floss? Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*"

"Did you hear about the problem in Pakistan where smoking a scorpion gets you high? Well only the men get high, the women get stoned"

"I have seagull managers. They swoop in, screech like hell, shit all over everything, then fly away."

"At the mortuary.. -How do you want to handle your mother in law? Do you want her incinerated, embalmed or buried? -All of them, lets not take any chances"

"Sooo much pressure as a woman to not have a mustache."

"Judas: Still on for Friday? ""Jesus: Friday?"" ""Judas: Yeah, the Last Supper."" ""Jesus: The what?"" ""Judas: Supper. Normal supper with the fellas."""

"The movie was better than the book because I'm illiterate."

"When a CW is coming out of the men's room as I walk past, I always ask if everything went well because that's the polite thing to do."

"What does gasoline taste like? I don't know, I'm in a coma."