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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new farmers dating site? It's full of hoes."

"I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend. Seriously, I'm taking a selfie and you're in the background"

"these tweets brought to you by me waiting to hear back from my weed guy"

"My church was going to have a sermon on prophecy today... but it was cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances."

"Casual conversations are just like casual sex. I don't know how to have either one."

"I happily dad joked my fiance While on her way to work, she texted me saying she only put deodorant on one side. To which I replied, ""At least you won't smell half bad!"""

"what did the old man say before he kicked the bucket? old man ""how far do you think i can kick this bucket""."

"My sister called in a panic to say she'd dropped my kid. I didn't even know she was pregnant."

"A wedding is like inviting your family and friends to the dock to watch you leave England on the Titanic."

"As a farmer I've heard lots of jokes about sheep. I told them to my dog but he'd heard them all."