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Joke of the Day

"To the person who just mass messaged me that heart felt ""Merry Christmas"" text, I thought you should know everyone says ""Thanks"". ..All 115 of them."

"Why did Christopher Reeve lose the debate? Because his arguments *couldn't stand* against scrutiny."

"why do elephants paint their toe nails red? to hide in cherry trees. have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree? works doesn't it"

"What do you get if you cross a rapist with a tractor? Fertilizer"

"It's 450 BC. Socrates is doing a keg stand at a philosopher frat party. Gets the nickname SoCRAYtes. Nobody takes him seriously ever again."

"Jokes about white sugar are rare... but brown sugar, Demerara."

"Those Essex Girls Whats the difference between a plat of spaghetti and an Essex girl The plate of spaghetti moves when you eat it!"

"What kinda vegetables like to party? Lettuce turnip da beet!"

"To the guy who invented Zero... Thanks for nothing!"

"Holmes said to his brother, ""Mycroft, all this heroin that Watson administers is making me terribly constipated."" And Mycroft responded, ""No shit, Sherlock?"""