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Joke of the Day

"Marriage is like a deck of cards In the beginning all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond... By the end you wish you had a club and a spade."

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless it's a black bulb then he calls for backup."

"Every day I spend a few hours on a running track. Next week I might even turn it on."

"Thinking it's a not a good thing when the pizza delivery guy knows my dog by name."

"WIFE: What did you just do? CAT: *bolts for no apparent reason* ME: *bolts in the opposite direction in case she's after both of us*"

"Why do Asian women have small tits? Because only A's are acceptable."

"so a native american walks into a fancy restaurant he says to the guy seating people, I have reservations."

"It has been said that the United States has the best congressmen money can buy."

"Why are mountains so funny? Because they are hill areas. I'll show myself out"

"Why are muscles poisonous? Because my biceps are killer."