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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: What did you just do? CAT: *bolts for no apparent reason* ME: *bolts in the opposite direction in case she's after both of us*"

"Two condoms walk past a gay bar... One turns to the other and says 'Wanna go in there and get shit faced?'"

"Best time to watch German rape porn? Nein! Ooooo nein!"

"Internet Explorer: so about last night Me: Oh, i used you for flash. IE: Are we back together, am i your default? Me: don't make this weird"

"Drunk scientists pour wine on superconductors and make an incredible discovery... He was later arrested for drunk deriving..."

"The new Samsung phone shares every picture you take with all your friends as soon as you take it. Good idea. What could possibly go wrong?"

"My wife and I recently bought a Great Dane, the smell around our house is absolutely disgusting. Every time he barks I shit myself."

"Iran is 3 billion dollars short of hiding a Nuclear program What can they do to get the money?"

"When Peter Rabbit was working as a porn star, whom did his contract require to be on the set? Fluffer Bunny."

"What do you call a paper crane folded by a prositute? Whoreigami"