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Joke of the Day

"So a Korean man, a Syrian man, and a Mexican man are all in a truck. Who's driving? Immigration."

"How many French people does it take to bake a baguette? 8. Because then they have wheat."

"Opinions are like assholes... I'd rather not hear yours."

"Just got a call from the wife saying she'd broken the wing mirror. Just got a call from the wife saying she'd broken the wing mirror. I asked ""How the hell did you do that""? ""The car rolled on it""."

"On cold mornings, it'd be helpful if a menacing man screamed obscenities at me in German so I'd get out of the shower."

"I would tell you jokes about perfect girlfriends But you wouldn't get them"

"Me at age 5 ""I wish I had a $1"" Me at age 10 ""I wish I had $100"" Me at age 17 ""I wish I had $1,000,000"" Me at age 26 ""I wish I had $1"""

"I don't trust a restaurant that advertises ""Now with more bacon!"" because it means they were holding out on me to begin with."

"Overheard from a 14 year old: Why does Donald Trump watch the Olympics? To see how high Mexicans can pole vault"

"When you were in the gang then, you just had to look cool, just walk around and look like you were tough. Someone started talking about fighting 'No, man, I've got to go home.'"