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Joke of the Day

"I don't trust a restaurant that advertises ""Now with more bacon!"" because it means they were holding out on me to begin with."

"Ralph once had an IQ of 18, ... but then it fell asleep. edit: ~~they~~ it"

"What do you give a canine seeking meaningless validation on the internet? Pupvotes"

"What did one bird say to the other bird when he played five aces in a poker game? Cheat, cheat, cheat."

"How do you know your girlfriend is too young? She only puckers up for her pacifier."

"I use to worry I was a nihilist... but then I realized I don't care."

"Why shouldn't you make abortion jokes? It's always too soon."

"I used to play the triangle in a reggae band... I'd stand at the back and ting"

"2 bats hanging on a branch Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, ""Do you recall your worst day last year?"" The other responds, ""Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"""

"Adblock can't melt Ellen Pao."