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Joke of the Day

"political joke Republicans are Red Democrats are Blue and neither one gives a fuck about you"

"I bought a new sex doll... it's so realistic she doesn't wanna have sex with me."

"Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: Because they don't know where home is."

"DAD: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance. ME: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance. DAD: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [dies]"

"A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother... They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them! They named him Ravi O. Lee Sorry"

"Guy on phone telling gf he's bringing her a HUGE bouquet b/c 'she deserves the best'. Hilariously, he was peeing at a urinal the whole time."

"How do you get a guy to stop having sex with you? Get him off."

"You think you're pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone else's shower."

"A doctor and his patient **Doctor**: After the operation, you'll be a new man. **Patient**: Could you send the bill to the old man?"

"I once thought about opening a place like T.G.I.Friday's, called C.L.I.Thursday's, but most guys wouldn't be able to find it from what I hear..."