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Joke of the Day

"How was marriage instituted? A bunch of prostitutes wanted to start a labor union."

"You know the difference between Sadistic and Masochistic? No one has ever called me a masochistic son of a bitch."

"I'd give anything to be a philanthropist. That is all."

"So Cologne, Germany during WW2 was bombed and decimated by fire. I am sure the fire smelled pretty nice."

"Why is it better to be ashy? cause it just means you spit more fire"

"Golfer: ""I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake."" Caddy: ""I doubt you could keep your head down that long."""

"I will never miss you, because I'm a really good shooter."

"Shaved my girlfriend's cat. Think she'll take the hint?"

"Why are there so many doctors in India? Because about 20 million people are Sikh."

"My husband just got to level three on netflix: ""faking an illness"" to finish binge watching I'm on level 6: ""faking your own abduction"""