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Joke of the Day

"Whats 10 inches? What's 10 inches, has a big red head and makes my girlfriend cry when i put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage"

"My friend learned today that his effeminate kid's favourite song comes from Annie. I'm not sure, but if I had to guess, The Son'll Come Out Tomorrow."

"I went out for dinner tonight... ...and they tried to charge me for salt and pepper! I thought it was condimentary."

"They should make engagement ring boxes that whisper ""Dont do it"" when you open them."

"Where do babies come from? Storks bring white babies. Crows bring black babies. So what brings no babies? Swallows"

"Midgets wouldn't creep me out nearly as much if they were autotuned."

"How to get laid: Step 1: Be an egg Step 2: That's literally it"

"Can't believe I'm not invited to things I'd never go to."

"They should fill the airbags with confetti to make car accidents more fun. *crashes vehicle* ""OMG, my legs! Hey, a party!"" *dies smiling*"

"How many dead Hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? Not 8, since my basement is still dark."