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Joke of the Day

"Yo mamma's ghost is so fat... ...even the priest couldn't exorcise her! https://twitter.com/YoMommasGhost BONUS: Yo mamma's ghost is so dumb, she thought a deadlift was a haunted elevator."

"What is a cat's favorite breakfast? Mice crispies."

"My calculus professor recently divorced his wife .. .. one day he simply told her ""I'm making a you substitution""."

"So I bought this cheap brand of toilet paper... They called it velvet soft. It should have been called James Bond 007. Because every time after I use it, I lift my hand up and I've got a GoldFinger."

"I received a lighter as a gift from my gf and it broke after a single use. I told her that there was a spark missing in our relationship. Edit: Spelling. Any Improvements to this joke appreciated."

"A jew just won the nobel prize. what do you say to him? congrajulations Edit: do those who downvoted know the real spelling of congratulations ?"

"I'm afraid of Spotify ruining music the way Facebook ruined friends."

"Girl, you put the sexy in dyslexia."

"Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work."

"I bought my wife some gloves and a sex toy for her birthday if she doesn't like the gloves she can go f*ck herself"