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Joke of the Day

"Ladies, please. Get a hold of yourselves. There's enough of me to disappoint all of you."

"I bet Seal is terrified of shark week."

"I like my Jews... ...the way I like my coffee. Roasted."

"I took my girlfriend home to meet the family My wife went fucking ballistic"

"My son wants to dress as a Catholic Priest for Halloween... Well, he can go fuck himself."

"Hey dad, i got a question for the sex with my girlfriend Can you stop doing it?"

"Last night I got too drunk and sensibly took a bus home Pretty proud of myself...Never drove a bus before."

"Joe: $400? For ONE night? Innkeeper: It's the honeymoon suite. [outside] Joe: No rooms. Mary: None? Joe: Bummer, huh. That barn looks cosy?"

"I'm at the ear clinic. My name might've been called out. I have no idea. PSA: The joke is originally in Swedish, tried my best translating it."

"How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed? tape velcro to the ceiling."