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Joke of the Day

"My personal trainer told me to listen to my body at the gym so I punched him in the face and went to get some ice cream."

"The worlds best chat-up line: ""I like my women how I like my coffee... Either cheap and bitter or ground up and in the freezer."""

"My buddy's a surfer who left Egypt because his strict Christian family was always hovering over him... They were, like, hella Coptic bro."

"Throwing acid is wrong In some people's eyes..."

"Mastercard Chinese Resturant Commercial General Tso's Chicken........ $11.50 Coca-Cola........ $1.99 Take out guy forgets container........ Riceless"

"A magician stopped me in the street. He said, ""Think of a number between 1 and 10."" I said, ""OK."" He said, ""Have you got one?"" I said, ""No, not yet. It's only 12.30."""

"When I see someone has 1,500 followers on twitter, I think ""that person must b funny"". 1,500 friends on FB ""that person is batshit crazy"""

"Why don't black people go on cruise ships? They're not falling for that one again."

"What did Julius Caesar say after taking Cleopatra's virginity? Veni, Vidi... Veni."

"Everyone who believes in Psychokinesis... raise my hand"