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Joke of the Day

"If Philae finds an inhabitant on the comet what would be its first words? I'm a Comedian ^((because people from Mars are Martians)^) ^^And. ^^I'll ^^show ^^myself ^^out"

"I like my women like I like my coffee, passed through the digestive system of a cat"

"People often ask me why I'm single and how surprised they are Then after speaking to me for 15 mins they say they can understand why I am"

"You ever feel like you just don't really understand anything, and then your hands turn into flippers and you realize you're a dolphin?"

"What's the difference between a man and a margarita? A margarita hits the spot every time."

"I like my women like I like my milk... White, with 2% fat."

"The one thing that all women find attractive ...a man who doesn't fall for clickbait"

"No self-respecting murderer is going to have the patience to stand there for the twenty or thirty hours it'll take me to dig my own grave."

"Donald Trump's Presidential Campaign"

"I love to play with my balls. I've been trying to meet a woman with the same hobby."