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Joke of the Day

"Ted Cruz is going to be in a movie Dummy Does Dallas"

"If a Lesbian ""Cock-Blocks"" another Lesbian.... is that considered a beaver dam?"

"You haven't lived until you've tried to make a bed and the sheets get caught by a ceiling fan and destroy all lamps in the room"

"Wait! What?! The subway is flooded? WHAT ABOUT THE NINJA TURTLES?! *prays*"

"Women don't consider it chivalrous when you open bathroom stall doors for them."

"What sound does a train make when it's eating? Chew Chew"

"So what goes around comes around eh? Try saying that to my belt"

"What did the snail say riding on the turtles back WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"I bet if you work at Tyson Foods sometimes the correct answer to ""guess what"" really is ""chicken butt."""

"Explaining KARMA! It's when you throw a banana in Mario kart, and then, you lose the race because you got caught up in your own banana!"