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Joke of the Day
"Ted Cruz is going to be in a movie Dummy Does Dallas"
Next Joke
"My friend hates theme parks because he doesn't like the idea of waiting for 5 hours for 2 minutes of pleasure. And yet he still goes on dates."
"A fun thing to do when you're done dating someone is just disappear completely and pretend you've lost your phone and died"
"How do you make a clown cry? Kill his entire family."
"What did MC Hammer name his son? Arman."
"Reddit, tell me the most offensive joke you know. [NSFW]"
"You hear the one about the Blind Prostitute? You gotta hand it to her"
"I wanted to be a sky diving instructor... But it's not the kind of job you just fall in to."
"Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying."
"My OCD is so bad that, when someone falls asleep on a plane, I turn off their overhead light. And braid their hair."