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Joke of the Day

"What did the snail say riding on the turtles back WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"'I've been expecting you, Mr. Bond.' - James Bond's mother giving birth"

"I asked a German girl for her number today. Apparently it is 999-999-9999. Weird right?"

"Great move NASA, let's blast Will.I.Am's music into space. That will definitely let every alien nation know we are intelligent. Throw in some Beiber while your at it."

"It's hard to write a good drinking song. I can never make it past the first few bars."

"Roughly 60% of my childhood was spent trying to do the crane kick after watching Karate Kid."

"How did the redneck find his sister in the woods? Attractive."

"My neighbors are listening to great music... ...Whether they like it or not!"

"Joke my dad told me: What's black and white and red, and has trouble going through a revolving door? A nun with a javelin through her head"

"F.Y.I. ~~ hand jobs from girls who speak sign language....do in fact, count as blow jobs"