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Joke of the Day

"Women don't consider it chivalrous when you open bathroom stall doors for them."

"I was blessed with a rather large penis. That's when my local priest was arrested."

"I may be on Santa's naughty list but at least I had fun getting there."

"[phone rings] ""Mr Hughes?"" ""Yeah."" ""We need u to come pick yr son up from school."" ""Ugh. Whats he done now?"" ""Nothing. Its nearly midnight."""

"What's the difference between a yoghurt and the USA? If left for 400 years, the yoghurt will develop a culture."

"I took a Viagra earlier and it got stuck in my throat... I've had a stiff neck for hours."

"By starring this tweet, you agree to my terms of service.* *Unlimited** free***, surprise butt sex. **Some limitations apply. ***Not free."

"The only time me and a girl orgasmed at the same time,nnShe didn't even know I was in the cupboard."

"What did the pirate say on his eightieth birthday? Aye Matey"

"Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring."