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Joke of the Day

"Winner of the coin flip at Superbowl 50 announced earlier today. Hilary Clinton has decided to receive."

"Captain: You're suspended. Turn in ur badge and gun. [he does, but immediately grows a new badge and gun] Godammit, u were born to be a cop."

"While at work ""You must love putin"" ""Why?"" ""Because your a rushin!"""

"What do you do after having licked the world's smoothest vagina? Put it back in the stroller"

"What's the difference between snowmen and snowomen? Snowballs"

"A conversation between a cobra and a librarian -Shhhh -Shhhh -Shhhh -Shhhh"

"LPT: Laminate your index cards when studying. Not only does it prevent smearing, but the teardrops actually roll right off."

"A Priest and a Rabbi Are sitting in the park when a little boy walks by. The priest says ""Wanna fuck him?"". The rabbi says ""out of what?"""

"Did you hear about the amputee that came in last on Jeopardy? He was stumped."

"*raises the bar 16 yrs later] Bar: even though you weren't my real father I always wanted to call you, dad. Dad. *me trying not to cry"