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Joke of the Day

"In my next life, I'd like to come back as one of those girls who ""forgets"" to eat."

"Did you hear about the cannibal? He dumped his girlfriend...*flies away*"

"Who is the 0.666 humorist here? [META]"

"What is round, heavy, has 3 holes, and is often found in a gutter? My ex wife."

"They say acid is a gateway drug.. But good luck getting to the fridge when there's a fucking dragon guarding it!"

"What do you give a man who has everything? Penicillin"

"Did you hear about all the butterball turkeys that got recalled? The balls weren't buttered. Thanks to my grandpa for that one. It's his annual thanksgiving joke."

"Recall how as children we were told not to make ugly faces because we'd ""stick that way?"" Careful. It works for dumbing ourselves down, too."

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the S'mores of Pop-Tarts, it was the Unfrosted Strawberry of Pop-Tarts."

"*licks stamp* hmmm tastes weird *mails letter* hmmm mailbox had wings *drives home on flying monkey* hmmm that wasn't a stamp"