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Joke of the Day

"I don't know, the friend zone sounds like a cool place with pizza and laser tag"

"I'm glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's really come in handy this parallelogram season"

"Don't email me a link to a 6 minute youtube video. I wouldn't watch a video that long if in contained clues to solve my own murder."

"What do you call a man who gives a woman the illusion of entitlement? A Husband..."

"Got a secondhand robot. Practically good as new! Just a few nicks and scratches, and a tendency to murder."

"What does the Mexican kid say as his homework flys out of the window? Ayyee essay, where are you going?"

"Why don't you see any transgendered parents? Because they're trans-parent"

"Why did the paleontologist measure the height of a dinosaur using a T-Rex's foot? Jurassic times call for Jurassic Measures."

"I wonder if the coach of the opposing team on Air Bud got fired when he explained to the principal how a golden retriever outscored his team"

"I want to die like my father; sleeping in peace ... Not like his passengers; screaming in fear."