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Joke of the Day

"Got a secondhand robot. Practically good as new! Just a few nicks and scratches, and a tendency to murder."

"""You know an ancestor of mine came over on the Mayflower."" ""Really? Which rat was he?"""

"My dad's joke. 'Did you know there were Female hormones in beer?' Because, if you start drinking too much. You don't have the ability to drive, and you get fat."

"What is the similarity of pizza and your parents? If they are black you will not eat tonight! (Sorry if this racist joke caused any offence)"

"What's the difference between a condom and a coffin? Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going."

"""I've turned over a new leaf"" ~ me explaining to the nissan salesman that I had an accident on the test drive"

"Did you hear about the latest Calvin Klein Lawsuit? Yeah - but it wasn't much of a suit. It was actually a brief case."

"Why did Jon snow wait outside he Apple Store for 3 days? For the watch"

"Ice cubes are very badass I mean they float around their own blood"

"[NSFW] What's the difference between a woman and a refrigerator? ....the refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out!"