114418

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the pornstar in court that was tried by a group of his peers? They had a hung jury."

"I got a sweater for Xmas I appreciate it, but I would have preferred a screamer or a moaner."

"Unless you're planning to lay there shirtless in an open casket, there really is no point to killing yourself with diet and exercise."

"My favorite thing about babies is that none of them are mine."

"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. The FedEx guy, and the Walmart greeter. Mom's kind of a slut."

"Nothing says you don't trust your family like pre-payment of your funeral"

"there are 1,013,913 english words but I never could string together any of them to accurately explain how much I want to hit u with a chair"

"I'm drowning my self in coke right now. Not the drug. The drink. Nah jk it's the drug."

"Mozart, Beethoven, and Schwarzenegger are getting ready to throw a Halloween party. Mozart turns to Arnie and asks, ""what's your costume going to be?"" ""I'll be Bach"""

"Why did the console player cross the road? Because fuck you for clicking on this just to tell me how much of a shitty repost this is!"