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Joke of the Day

"What do Far Cry 4 and The Big Lebowski have in common? I hate the fucking Eagles, man!"

"[police interrogation] ""What do you do for a living?"" ""Drug dealer."" ""Louder, for the tape."" [leans in] ""Bug healer. I heal bugs."""

"Looting has hit London's Covent Garden Specifically the new Apple Store. Police are looking for iWitnesses."

"What class does everyone remember fondly from Highschool? Nostalgebra"

"A suicide bomber, a member of an ethnic minority, my girlfriend, a priest, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender says ""What is this, /r/Jokes?"""

"I hope none of these haystacks are sharing needles."

"*sees baby* *feels sad that my kids aren't babies anymore* *sees look of exhausted despair in baby's parents eyes* *sadness evaporates*"

"At least the joke I just told you is longer then your dick. ... ""What joke?"" ... ""Exactly""."

"Did you here about the female thief? I heard she was a mistake"

"What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia? You get stoned."