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Joke of the Day

"At least the joke I just told you is longer then your dick. ... ""What joke?"" ... ""Exactly""."

"At what point in listening to your kid whine can you say, ""Sorry. This relationship isn't working out. You should start seeing other moms."""

"This is 2 girls with 1 cup. [A.K.A. Friends At (a) Cafe Bar](http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/friends-at-cafe-bar-high-res-stock-photography/156534295)"

"What did the snake priest say to the snake groom after the marriage? You may now ""hiss"" the bride."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alistair ! Alistair who ? Alistairs in this house are broken !"

"Whenever I have doubts as to my race, I just scrunch up a piece of paper & shoot at a waste basket... Anyway, today! I am definitely white."

"I am going to be arrested today! Because I will be snowden!"

"I just got a new watch for my ex-wife Seems like a fair trade."

"What do you call titty fucking underwater? The breast stroke"

"How do you figure out which contestant in a Ms. America pageant is a prostitute? Look for the one with the sash that says ""I da ho""."