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Joke of the Day

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forwards, they would still be in the boat."

"If republicans stand up and clap I get a shot, if democrats stand up and clap I have to buy someone a shot who can't afford it. #sotu"

"My Life get it, cause my life is a joke! *badum tisss*"

"Batman Begins Scrapbooking #AddaWordRuinaMovie"

"Two things you need to know about me: 1. I am hung over. 2. Sometimes I say the word over for no reason."

"Posting pumpkin carving pictures on social media is so last year."

"Another knock knock joke X: Knock knock. Y: Who's there? X: Doctor."

"What is the Opposite of Palindrom? NTSCindrom HAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAAHAHA"

"I was walking downtown, and I passed this homeless man who started shaking his cup of change at me and I was like, okay, dick, I get it, you have more money than me, don't rub it in."

"It's weird they report fantasy football during Sports Center. That's like the local news telling us how your SimCity is doing."