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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst part of running into your ex? You have to get out and check to see how bad your car is damaged."

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? You 'neek up on him. How do you catch a TAME rabbit?"

"""WHO WANTS A PIECE OF ME?!?"" - Jesus, at the first Communion."

"What kind of wolf never runs? Steppenwolf"

"So a blind man walks by a fish market... he take a deep breath, then exhales and says ""Good morning ladies!"""

"Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, ""I still love Vista, baby""."

"*I throw u a kiss* *u duck* *it flies into space* [6 bn yrs later - the planet Xargx] LORD ZARG: Kill the- *kiss hits his cheek* LZ: Aww nvm"

"What I hate about pasta is how they change the shape and act like it's a different food. I'm out to expose the fraud."

"For the past month I have woken up to find hundreds of flowers with no heads all over my doorstep, garden and drive. I think I'm being stalked."

"Did you hear about the kleptomaniac with no sense of humor? He took everything literally"