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Joke of the Day

"After ten minutes trying to explain twitter to a friend I gave up and told her it was a pyramid scheme."

"Two Jehovah Witnesses walk into a bar. LOL JK. They knocked."

"Why is Donald Trump gay? The Chinese beemhole been trippin hardcore nomsayin'?"

"""Kids, part of my comprehensive zombie apocalypse plan are these Tshirts to keep up with each other"" ""Daddy, why do ours say appetizer?"""

"If you laid out all of the people in the world who were ever mean to me, I could then drive my car over them."

"My 8 yr old son asked me earlier what the first two letters of 'fun' are. I laughed, we fist bumped, and then I sent him to the corner.."

"If I poured phenolphthalein on you it would turn pink. Because you a basic bitch."

"You know who could really get a party started? Lenin."

"I get you, anti-evolution people. I'm too lazy to learn science too."

"How do you measure a Lego figure's shoe size? In square feet."