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Joke of the Day

"After ten minutes trying to explain twitter to a friend I gave up and told her it was a pyramid scheme."

"Pretty cute that my husband wanted to role-play that I was his maid and then not break character for 14 years."

"If I died and went straight to hell it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn't at work anymore."

"Q: Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? A: Because she had no guts!"

"The Philadelphia eagles Punchline in title."

"Stuart hall, Rolf harris and Max clifford walk into an Irish bar. Barman says not Yew Tree again"

"When someone walks into a room, I like to tap the person next to me and in a loud stage whisper say ""Is that who you were telling me about?"""

"So You Think You're The One Guy Who Can Wear A Fedora Without Looking Like A Douche"

"How do you know ancient Egyptians were black? Because they never dig up daddies."

"Why do they say you are what you eat? I don't know but everyone calls me an asshole."