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Joke of the Day

"God says to jesus, ""You remembered it's father's day?"" Jesus says ""what the hell am I supposed to get a man who has everything?!"" *God turns & winks at camera* ""Omnipresents."""

"The disabled vet So my buddy is a disabled vet. It's really sad because he got injured on the job. Turns out he's not very good with animals."

"Blind people Gotta hand it to them."

"What do Americans call the summer holidays? Ceasefire"

"What does Sodium and Batman have in common? NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa BATMAN i'll just see myself out...."

"So I asked my North Korean frien how is life was going. He said ""can't complain"""

"Three cows are standing in a field. Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease? Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter Cow 3: Holy shit a talking cow!"

"What's similar between an elephant and a plum? They're both grey except for the plum."

"When life gets you down, remember the immortal words of Monty Python. NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"