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Joke of the Day

"Smoke marijuana... Smoke marijuana, Take over the government, This is a high coup."

"The shortest tribe in the world The Fuckawee tribe....In the long grass you can hear their chant...Where the Fuckawee!"

"Me: *takes her shirt off & sees a padded bra* whoa Her: I'm so sorry, are you upset? M: *pulls a salami out of my shorts* let's call it even"

"African scientists are saying people who died of Ebola are coming back to life... But thats ridiculous, every one knows theres no such thing as african scientists."

"What do you call a fish with no eye? FSH"

"My girlfriend started pms-ing today. I thinks it's just a big ovary action."

"Cop: Know why I pulled you over? Me: Yeah Cop: Oh ok nevermind"

"*Trains lightning bugs to spell* Karen, they have a message for u WILL YOU M- ""Omg Yes!"" OVE OUT? Oh good. Here I packed your bags already."

"What did the tv say to the remote control? ""you turn me on"""

"I texted my wife a picture of my flaccid penis. I wanted to let her know I was thinking about her."