150403

Joke of the Day

"Cop: Know why I pulled you over? Me: Yeah Cop: Oh ok nevermind"

"Want to get rid of your husband without killing him? Just send him to the grocery store & ask for pine nuts. Mine has been gone 6 years."

"What did the tv say to the remote control? ""you turn me on"""

"The company hates when I helicopter into work. It's always, ""zip up your pants and go see HR now!"""

"When I see couples madly in love, I just assume they met yesterday."

"I always like to tell fart jokes about myself I call it self defecating humour"

"What is the similarity between a weiner and a Rubik's Cube? The more you twist them the harder they get."

"Do you know what they call leprechaun pee? Urine luck!"

"Doctor: ""You have a hip injury."" Me: ""I am very trendy."""

"ELI5: If Silicon Valley seceded from the US would they be considered a developing nation?"