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Joke of the Day

"My mistress bought me a Neck Clampotron XXX 5 years ago, and I've never looked back since!"

"What does a Gynecologist and Pizza Delivery guy have in common? Both get to smell the goods but neither get to eat it. (A straight rip from /r/funny with my apologies)"

"I've never held a baby before ""It'll be fine"" *I accidentally put the baby in a box and mail it to North Korea*"

"What's the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin? Zimmerman can dodge a bullet."

"How do you know you sister is on her period? Dad's cock tastes like blood."

"what is your dirtiest joke ever What's the difference between a blonde and a 747? Not everyone's been in a 747."

"In retrospect, the kidnapping was going according to plan until I blew my nose on the rag I'd soaked with chloroform."

"WHAT ARE THOSE?! Thanks, how did you know?"

"What is the difference between a diameter and a radius? A radius"

"What shoes are hard to wear? Dark Soles Terrible gaming pun. My friend posted this on FB, thought I would share."