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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar... and stays there my entire childhood."

"Earthquake just hit California... Too many liberals are literally shaking."

"My nonprofit for constipation awareness went bankrupt (at least half of you can guess the punchline)... because no one gave a shit!!! yeah yeah, I know where the door is..."

"What do you call smutty pictures of birds? Pornithography."

"""1st day at school"" Mother: ""Did you enjoy your first day at school?"" . Girl: ""First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?"

"The trouble with kids these days... ...is that they can't even."

"What's black on top and white underneath? Rape. Offensive jokes are fine as long as they are still jokes."

"""Smells fresh. Like a tropical island."" ""Ok. Now take off the blindfold! Your family's been dead in this car for a week! We Febrezed it!"""

"Dad can I? A young man went up to his father and asks ""Can I have twenty bucks for a blow job?"" His father says ""I don't know. Are you any good?"""

"What do you call a group of whales playing music together? An Orcastra"