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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear they're gonna make a new TV show about Bruce growing up as an unloved child? They're gonna call it Punky Bruceter."

"Statistics show that 73% of people don't have enough fibre in their diets. Ah well, tough shit"

"How do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream."

"[robbers outside bank] When I said get some masks I meant something creepy like wolf masks ""But can't u feel your pores really opening up?"""

"What did one casket say to the other? Is that you coughin?"

"Did you hear about the agnostic insomniac who has dyslexia? He lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog."

"What Do Ghosts Like To Stare At? BooBees."

"What happened when the Jew with a boner walked into a wall? He broke his nose."

"What should be done in case of apparent drowning? Take the parent out of the water"

"Did you try turning your relationship off and then back on again?"