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Joke of the Day

"I tried to catch fog yesterday, Mist."

"Why are tourists to Scotland wrongly arrested as pedophiles? They say they came for the 12-year-old Scotch."

"Pessimist: This can't get any worse. Optimist: Yes it can!"

"Moon Landing conspiracy theorists should be called Luna-tics Just posting here because r/showerthoughts doesn't allow puns."

"*brakes hard* *throws arm across passenger seat to protect pizza*"

"What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common? In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier."

"A Test WC in college. Three cubicles. Voice from the left: *Peter, professor passed you in philosophy?* Voice from the right: *No, he did not...* Voice from the middle: **And I won't!**"

"How do we know that Joan of Arc was French ? She was maid in France !"

"Captain America: ok Avengers, we can defeat Ultron if we work as a team. Remember, no man is an island Island Man: oh come on not this again"

"How does Avis feel to be #2? It Hertz"