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Joke of the Day

"When a couple argues the guy will say what's on his mind, the girl will say what's on her mind & 99 other things that should've been on his."

"He may have a nice car but I have a fast sleigh"

"Raising ones leg and releasing a loud fart is a proper response for any man who doesn't like his wife's tone of voice."

"A friend and I are walking down the street When we see a dog laying in the yard , licking his balls. My friend says ""I wish I could do that!"". I told him "" I bet that dog would bite you!"""

"Don't cha wish ya girlfriend was a clinically depressed cat owning weirdo like me"

"How do you drown a hipster? In the main stream"

"(NSWF) Whats funner than a dead baby A dead baby wearing a clown outfit"

"Waving my hand impatiently in front of the automatic door sensor so everyone knows I am too important to wait for electricity."

"""Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches"" - I'm just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys"

"Drills are boring."